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Heart-2-Heart #015
Self Sabotage
Part #1 - The Ultimate Mind Game
Friend of the Heart!
It was 13 months ago that I set out on the path to publish my own book. I remember being very optimistic about this. "I'll have it published before Mother's day, no problem!"
Today - we're writing March 7th 2005 - a truck arrived containing 1500 copies of "Mijn Blijde Hart". (That's Dutch for "My Happy Heart".) I'm finally ready to sell!
What took me so long?
The strange thing is: the book was totally ready to publish by the end of August. The editing had been done, the graphics work was completed, color proofs had been made. There was only a minor glitch: I had no money to pay for the printing. At that point everybody in their right mind would have focused all of their concentration at raising the necessary funds. I however, found more pressing things to do...
Like learning how to create my own software for example, pumping out many little webmaster gadgets with little to no relationship to happy hearts. That kept me occupied for a good period of time. I even started a whole extra website to help others create their own software too! (This site is actually turning into a lively web community. So I'm not regretting developing it; it's just the timing of it all.)
Okay, had that project on the role. Even created some Happy Hearts Software to make up for the lack of attention I was paying to my book. So now I'd get back to the financing of my book, right?
A 1001 things to do
Wrong! Being a creative person, by now my mind was really on fire about all different kind of projects I could undertake:
- translating the book to English (My Happy Heart),
- creating the eBook "The Dreaming of Paradise" and adding the Dreamweavers project to it (which I could easily spend a year on giving it the attention it really deserves),
- 'stalking' Joe Vitale - he's my favorite author on internet marketing - with customized software applications,
- seducing Internet 'gurus' to exclusive interviews about their software selling secrets (yes, the first interview which is with Russell Brunson will be available soon...),
- persuading dr. Robert Anthony to team up in a massive project about making your dreams come true (don't expect it ready anytime soon though - like I said: it's massive!),
- writing the ultimate dummies guide for creating your own software (well underway),
- and of course writing newsletters and maintaining a couple of websites.
"So you're busy. Yet, how about getting your book printed?"
"Well, I feel the time just isn't right, you know. Somehow the overall energy isn't supportive of this endeavor. When I tune in to the project, I notice the flow has moved out. When the time is right, I'll meet the people who will help me accomplish my goals. My heart will know when to move forward again..."
I honestly believed in all the BS I was telling myself and others. My coach Patrick kept rubbing my nose in all the avoidance schemes I put up, but I wasn't willing to admit it. More and more excuses to justify my actions. Boy, this guy was starting to become a nuisance!
It's a mind game...
Sometimes having too much knowledge about the theory of Heart Focus can backfire on you. Knowing the kind of words that are generally used to describe heart feelings, my mind had found a back entrance which it used to regain control over me. And it fooled me into believing it was my heart talking.
The most critical moment for the mind to take control, is when it encounters something you fear. Potential dangers. By the time you've grown up, you have a whole palet of survival mechanisms in place that your brain can run on auto-pilot. And many of these survival behaviors have become so common, you're not even aware you're acting them out. So when a fear creeps up, all the mind has to do is take its pick.
The unconscious fears are the hardest to deal with. Subtle little lines of thought dwelling deep inside till the right moment triggers them. Yet they don't surface. They become active right below the surface and cause a survival mechanism to jump in. But one you're so used to, you never catch the red flag waving at you in the corner of your heart.
In my case? Procrastination. But I would have denied this feverishly till less than a week ago! To me procrastination was a way to describe tv-junks, lazy buts that kind of people. Me? I was working my ass of here! No way I could be procrastinating!!
What's stopping me?
Along comes Joe Vitale's new book: "What's Stopping You? How to end self-sabotage (for aspiring eBook authors)". Never mind the eBook extention: I'm an author and I'm not finishing my book. This material was obviously written for me.
“Basically, if you have not accomplished everything in life that you set out to do, then self sabotage is probably to blame.”
Now let me see... No, I don't have writer's block. No, I don't find it hard to concentrate on my writing. No, I don't even find it hard to end my book. But then: publish and sell the darn thing - two whole chapters devoted to all the sabotaging you do in these areas!
I haven't even finished reading "What's Stopping You?" yet, but in those first chapters I read about this phenomenon of starting new projects all the time and not being able to focus on what you need to finish first. An active form of procrastination. Hmmm... What do you think? Would that apply to my situation?!
My endless starting of new projects is my personal red flag. A signal of an unconscious fear lurking round the corner and needing to be dealt with. This really got me thinking of what it was that I was afraid of. The main three: fear of failure, fear of success and fear of asking money. And all triggered once my book was ready to publish. My way of dealing with it is to find other things to do.
Would you believe I have hardly enough money to feed the kids, yet 250 orders for my book and I still haven't got my invoices ready? Talk about setting your priorities straight! But I'm afraid to ask for the money. I had encountered a situation beyond my heart...
--- to be continued ---
If self sabotage is an issue in your life: start making notes about what you want to accomplish and what you actually do whith the time you set aside to achieve your goals. Make a note of your thoughts as well. Next week I'll tell you about more sabotage techniques people embrace and how to use these observations to put an end to it!
Happiness to you!
Patricia Ritsema van Eck
www.my-happy-heart.com
P.S.
I'm just wondering if the heart has its subconscious ways as well. Despite all my side tracks and mind tricks, I am currently facing 1500 brand new prints of my first published book. The challenge of course being not to grow grey in their company...
Links for this Issue
1500 Books Arrive!
If you want to see more of what that looks like, be my guest! The truck driver was having a good laugh about me pottering through the snow mash taking pictures. "It's probably your first book?" I could only reply with the happiest grin...
Them projects on the roll...
- My Happy Heart... - already taking pre-sales orders (with discount!) for the English translation.
- Let's Make Our Own Software! - the perfect place for programmer wannabees with zill programming skills.
- The DreamWeavers Project - sharing dreams for Paradise on earth. What's yours?
- Joe Vitale's Hypnotic Sales Letter Analyzer - what can I say? Sometimes 'stalking' actually pays off... ;)
- Interview with Russell Brunson - this college kid is well on his way to become the new NAME on the internet. What does he do to succeed in this challenging environment?
Happy Heart RSS
You can now add the Happy Heart RSS feed to either your RSS reader or My Yahoo! This will notify you about:
- new issues of Heart-2-Heart which have gone live
- new pages which have been added to this website
- existing pages which have been updated
- new books and software which have been published
- any other crazy deal you would want to know about...
Happy Heart RSS
If you haven't ventured down the RSS road yet, let me reassure you it is really dead simple. All you need is a reader to copy these links to. Feeling adventurous? Click:
Updates
Heart Poetry Writer
Does anybody care to give me some feedback on this program? You've been too silent. You do understand it's a free download! Are you keeping your mouth shut as to not hurt my feelings? Or are you firmly avoiding distractions to get your projects done? If the latter I guess I shouldn't argue with you. If not - tell me! I want to know!!
Motherhood
The help transport from Motherhood containing 18,206 boxes to be distributed in the area of Madras has completed its mission!
On Saturday March 5th the last boxes were delivered to Tsunami victims. All trucks heading back for the Netherlands again.
They're keeping a daily journal on their website of how the transport progresses. The journal is kept both in Dutch and in English and it also includes pictures and a map of the route.
Heart Recommendations
What's Stopping You?
How to End Self Sabotage
(for aspiring eBook authors).
If you really need to find out in-depth information on this topic, check out the new eBook by Joe Vitale and Larina Kase.
For me each page is a revelation. I'm merely hinting at the top of the iceberg in today's and next week's newsletters.
So if self sabotage is bugging you - even if you're not writing eBooks - it's well worth a look. (Third book on the page.) What's stopping you?!
Heart-2-Heart
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My Happy Heart © 2005 Patricia Ritsema van Eck